I have a confession to make!

Joey McIntyre was my first naughty dream. I was 6..and "we kissed like the people on tv."

Anyways...New Kids tickets for Vegas go on sale on Friday. Someone sitting right here is reallllyyyyyy excited!!! WOOT WOOT!!! :)

UGH!

And if I find out that one more person is pregnant..I'm going to KARATE CHOP someones head off!!!!

I just want to crawl into a ball...

..and die. I feel so depressed right now. I see my sister in law and her family. Her husband, her son, and her new baby girl, and I want exactly that. I'm jealous. I'll admit it. I WANT THAT!! It hurts my heart, and gives me that sinking feeling in my stomach. To top it off, yesterday the bid we put in on a house was outbid, and my sister in law found out that her offer was accepted. I am happy for them, because I know they need a house more than we do, but come on God!! Seriously??? The same day our offer was declined?? Show some freakin' sympathy.

I know I should be grateful to be alive, and be able to afford somewhere to live in blah blah blah. But liked the greedy person I must be, I want more. I don't want to live in this 1 bedroom 1 bath house anymore. I'm sick of it. It was cool for a while, because I didn't have to clean a big great house..but now I'd rather have that great big house to clean.

What do I have to show for myself?? I own a truck, rent a house, and I'm married. What an accomplishment! Yeah, right!

I just can't take this right now, like I said..I just want to curl up in a ball...and die.

I've decided this weekend...

I've decided this weekend that I am going to give myself a little break from TTC to try and focuse on my overall health. I really really need to lose weight, and I think if I focuse on losing weight, I won't be so overwhelmed ttc, charting, etc. Now, I'm sure that I will still be thinking of ovulating or getting AF, but if I focus on something else besides that, maybe my heart won't hurt as much.

I'm going to set myself a realistic goal of losing 20lbs by the end of August. I think I could definitley do that, especially since we just ordered an elliptical machine that should be here in about 2 weeks.

I hope this is a better start to what we've been waiting for.

Memorial Day Weekend

I've tested negative again just to make sure for Memorial Day weekend. Well ...it was negative..so I'm going to grab me a beer and enjoy my weekend!! And guess what..I'll even feel bad for myself this weekend if I want to..because I can!!

This weekend:

• Clean
• Drink
• Play Wii
• Drink
• Feel sorry for myself
• Drink
• Drink
• Drink

Those are my plans..

Everyday it's a gettin' closer...going faster than a rollercoaster...

I honestly never thought I would be making a blog about the pains and struggles of going through infertility at 23 years old, but here I am. I'd rather be writing a pregnancy blog, but its the sad reality I now have to face. Greg and I have been trying for over a year to get pregnant, with no success. Diagnosed with PCOS, the chances to get pregnant are rare, especially with infrequent ovulation.
The past few months its been hitting me hard, and as much as I love Greg, I feel as though he doesn't really grasp what I'm going through. My heart breaks every time I see a new mother with her child. I want to know what I did so wrong, that I feel God is punishing me for.
Currently, I'm on a herbal regime to help my cycle. It was working at first, and now I feel like all of the help it was giving me has disappeared.

Anyways...this is my first blog of many more to come.

AF is 26 days late.